I was honored to work with Susan Kaiser Greenland (author of The Mindful Child, and leader in bringing mindfulness to children and youth) and her team to share some observations and reflections on teen mental health and mindfulness. This interview with myself and Diane Cyr took place at a more acute phase of the COVID-19 pandemic. Much of our conversation still resonates with me now. Below are some excerpts. Click here to see the full interview on Greenland’s webpage.

“DO YOU SEE MORE FAMILIES ARE SEEKING OUT THESE PRACTICES?  

I do think that society as a whole--at least in the communities I work with—is much more open to mindfulness and self-compassion right now. I see it in medicine, in mental health, in education—in so many of these fields where young people are served. But I also think the challenge has been in sharing this work in a way that has integrity and healing. 

Adults have to be walking the walk. Whether it’s a counselor, a teacher, a parent or caregiver, they have to be practicing mindfulness themselves; they can’t just be telling kids what to do. And the key attitudes of mindfulness have to be embedded in it: kindness, self-compassion, non-striving. There is a danger when mindfulness is considered a technique to fix a problem. Mindfulness is really a way of being present, of living your life. It’s not a quick fix to solve a problem or to get rid of an emotion or to even feel better.

IT CAN BE HARD FOR ADULTS, LET ALONE TEENAGERS, TO TRUST THAT LONG-TERM PROCESS. 

I think we as parents and caregivers are looking for a quick fix too, because it’s hard to suffer, and it’s hard to see our kids in pain. So I think we all need to reorient our intentions, both when we’re practicing and when we’re teaching. When we are working with our own emotions--with being present, with acceptance, without trying to do a quick fix for ourselves--that can be a foundation for the way that we can interact with our teens. But if we haven’t practiced that ourselves, I don’t think that we can expect kids to learn it, and we’re not going to be able to teach it to them in a way that’s authentic.

WHAT ARE YOUR HOPES AND WORRIES ABOUT TEENS TODAY?

I’m hopeful that teens, along with the rest of society, have learned some important lessons with this time of crisis. We’ve learned that being able to go for a walk, enjoy nature, or just spend time with someone you care about is such a precious gift.  We’ve also seen how interconnected we all are—that one person’s choices can influence everyone else’s well-being and health, even life or death. I hope we can maintain this insight because that is an essential truth, with coronavirus, with climate change, and with social justice. Remembering this experience of being deeply interconnected is going to be the way forward for us as a society, and our young people recognize this. They’ve historically been the ones who have helped make positive social change.

My worry is that the mental health consequences of the pandemic are going to be long lasting. Eating disorders, depression, anxiety—I don’t expect these to go away quickly. Even if the pandemic is under control, these things could still last many years, so I think we’re going to need big investments in mental health in order to support our young people, because the mental health system had been challenged even before the pandemic.

SO, SIMPLY “MOVING ON” IS NOT AN OPTION.

We may wish to forget difficult experiences with our minds, but the body does not forget. If we try to move on without allowing our bodies and nervous systems to heal from this trauma, then it shows up in other ways—as physical pain, as emotional pain, as unhealthy behaviors. We have to be able to recover and heal from that if we’re going to move forward. There’s a quote used in mindfulness [from Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh]: “The way out is in.” We’re not going to be able to move forward unless we take care of what we’ve experienced.”