I took part in the first Mindfulness and Resiliency Skills for Adolescents (MARS-A) group in 2011, at the age of 16.

When I first started learning about mindfulness through MARS-A, I was struggling tremendously with both my mental and physical health. I had seen various health providers and specialists, and had been told many of my physical symptoms were “somatic,” meaning my emotional and mental stress was manifesting in my body. This was an explanation I wasn’t happy with at the time. I was skeptical to say the least.

But mindfulness took a different approach. Instead of searching for an answer, I learned to simply sit with my symptoms, to notice them without judgement, and to become more aware of my emotional reaction to these sensations. I learned that while I may be experiencing real symptoms, such as itching or pain, the worst part about these uncomfortable sensations was actually my emotional reaction to them.

For example, while pain was uncomfortable, the fear that accompanied thoughts such as “this pain is never going to go away,” was far more distressing. By practicing focusing on the sensation without judgement, I was able to begin to overcome these thoughts, but it wasn’t easy.

The MARS-A group has the word “Skills” in it for a reason; mindfulness is a skill that takes practice. There were times I felt frustrated: “Why can’t I just focus on the present?” “Why am I still feeling these uncomfortable emotions?” But I soon learned that these thoughts and feelings could be approached with mindfulness as well. When our mind wanders, it’s an opportunity to bring it back to the present moment. When we feel frustrated, it’s an opportunity to focus on where in our bodies we are feeling that frustration, and perhaps approach it with curiosity, not anger or judgement.

Today I work as a FamilySmart® Youth in Residence at the Kelty Mental Health Resource Centre at BC Children’s Hospital. I get to provide peer-support, resources, and system navigation to families and young people across BC, as well as co-run the Kelty Youth Ambassador Program.  Now more than ever, mindfulness has become a large part of my self-care practice both in and outside of work. Continuing to practice mindfulness of my emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, and environment around me allow me to more effectively handle stress and emotions during the day, as well as work to let go of stressors when the day comes to an end.

I may not have realized it at 16, but almost 10 years later I can see that I wasn’t just learning mindfulness to deal with my symptoms at the time, I was developing a skill that I would carry with me for many years to come.